Bittersweet

Mother’s Day is always a bittersweet day for me.  I bear a burden in my heart for women who want to have children but can’t.  I know there are many women who fit in this category and I want to say I love each and every one of you.  I did have two children one of which I lost last May when he was 35 years old.  Before my two children were born, I had two miscarriages.  I remember watching other young mothers holding their babies and playing with their children and, I admit, I would throw a pity party for myself.  I was angry, hurt, and bitter because my children weren’t with me. 

I got so tired of the well meaning friends and family that would tell me, “It is God’s will.”  What, God’s will—what does that mean?  I am not good enough to have children?  God doesn’t trust me with children?  Sometimes I would hear, “It’s for the best.”  Whose best?  Not my best, I want to have a child!

So to every woman that wants to have children, remember,  God is watching over you and He knows your heart.  I will not throw clichés or platitudes out at you.  I am praying for you that you find the peace you seek and deserve.   I know it is hard but prayers are going up to Heaven for you.